Matt, Valerie and I are in Missouri again. To attend the funeral of my sweet nephew- which is more awful than you can imagine. It is totally surreal. below is from my blog.
As you can imagine, this has been truly awful.
I think all of my and my family's emotions have run the gamut of extremes- anger, frustration, guilt (I woke up about the same time Jenn put him to bed and did not sleep the rest of the night. Looking back, I kept saying "why didn't I call then?!" but who calls at 3 am? ), sadness, dispair... and now, a measure of acceptance and even peace...
Please pray for me, I am speaking at the funeral. I do not think many are practicing Christians, so I want to speak to every single person's heart without being "wierd" or alienating anyone in attendece, but I also need to be very clear about where Gavin is and that he can be with his mom and dad again. Please, please pray for me.
Below is the obituary, and the message sweet Jennifer posted on her website that touched me deeply.
Gavin Reed Scott
THE MORNING SUN
Gavin Reed Scott, 3 weeks old, of Pittsburg, KS, died Saturday, March 29, 2008 at Mt. Carmel Regional Medical Center in Pittsburg, KS.
Gavin was born March 7, 2008, in Pittsburg, KS to Jennifer (Weber) and Michael Scott.
Survivors include his parents; maternal grandparents Melinda and Jeff Weber of Arma, KS; paternal grandparents Dianne Schneider of Liberal, MO and Keven Schneider of Springfield, MO; maternal great grandparents Shirley and Jim Weber of Joplin, MO and Nina Leslie of Arma, KS; paternal great grandmother Ruby Hart of Lamar, MO and Donna Schneider of Springfield, MO, along with a host of aunts, uncles and cousins.
Gavin is preceded in death by his paternal great grandfathers Gerald Hart and Marvin Schneider and along with maternal great grandfather Thomas H. Leslie.
Funeral services will be 1:00pm, Thursday, April 3, 2008 at Bath-Naylor Funeral Home, 522 S. Broadway in Pittsburg, KS with Fr. Robert McElwee officiating. Burial will follow in Garden of Memories Cemetery in Pittsburg, KS. The family will receive friends from 7-8pm on Wednesday at the funeral home. The family suggests expressions of sympathy be in the form of memorials to help defray final expenses. Memorials may be left at or mailed to Bath-Naylor Funeral Home, 522 S. Broadway in Pittsburg, KS 66762. E-mail condolences may be left at our website www.bathnaylor.com.
First I just want to say thank you to everyone for their support and good wishes and everything else. For those that don't already know we have had an extremely devastating weekend. Sometime between 3:30 when I last put him to bed and a little after 8 A.M. Saturday morning, me and Mike's son Gavin passed away due to SIDS. The only real peace we have is that they say he went painlessly and peacefully and just went to sleep and didn't wake up. Also that the last thing he heard was good night sweet Mommy and Daddy love you. As you can imagine it has been very hard but again thank you so very much for all the kind words and thoughts. I will post another bulletin whenever we find out details and arrangements for his funeral. Again thank you and please keep us in your prayers.
HISTORY
A Little History:
Our story begins in Pocatello, Idaho, circa 1972, when the lovely Debby Christensen agreed to a first, though fateful date with admirer, David Croshaw. Long story-short, he bade her follow him, and they went arm-in-arm to the Logan, Utah temple for establishment of an eternal family unit, Generation 1, on May 23 1973.
From their first blissful summer in Salt Lake City, educational pursuits took them to Provo/Orem, Utah, birthplace of Leslie and Rebecca, and to San Francisco/Oakland California, birthplace of Colin and Matt. Then, for establishment of livelihood, expansion of the tribe with Abby and Dana, and for raising/unifying of Generation 2, it was back to the roots in Pocatello for a rewarding sojourn.
In time, driven by a raging, but commonly shared sense of adventure and independence, one-by-one, Generation 2 escaped the homeland to distant regions of the country and the world, each ultimately developing their own tribal expansions by pairing with worthy mates and initiating Generation 3.
Now sensing fulfillment of their purpose in Pocatello, Generation 1 has also left those roots and transplanted to Cascade Idaho, from which base, they anticipate more abundant contact with The Posterity, Generations 2 and 3, in the future. That contact however, awaits fulfillment of a call to LDS missionary service in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, wherein they hope to help the state of the world by sharing the love of Jesus Christ.
So now, including Generation 0 (Grandma and Grandpa Christensen) home base includes Yuma, Arizona, Pocatello, Idaho, Cascade, Idaho, Vancouver, BC, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Spokane, Washington, Boise, Idaho, Los Angeles, California, back to Boise, Idaho, and on and on (Generation 3+) to infinity.
Our Mission Statement:
This is the blog of our eternal family unit. Initiated years ago, it served well as a journal, but even more so, as an archive of our personal interaction. It was a gathering place, a confabulation instrument, a unifying force for four generations of widely dispersed and progressively prolific posterity, and their valued associates. Though it served these purposes well for many years, it eventually took a back seat to new-kids-on-the-block, Facebook, and Instagram, and was sadly forgotten.
We now move to resurrect this blog with an added functional purpose of archiving the missionary experiences of Generation 1, of their movements and activities as they participate with The Gathering of Israel in the land northward. In so doing, we hope that via their own comments and posts, this blog will again serve to gather and unify the posterity and their friends.
As in the past, that the young and vibrant may know the old and tired, that enduring bonds may be fostered and maintained, that experience and encouragement may be openly shared, that posterity may embrace truth, and that hearts may be knit together, we must resist detachment despite our geographic divergence. We shall do so here.
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5 comments:
Tears are streaming down my face right now. That is my greatest fear, I think the thought has passed through my head every night I laid one of my babies down. Especially when they start sleeping longer during the night and I wake up before they do. My instinct is to think "Oh no! Why isn't she awake??"
I know the fear, but I can't imagine how hard it is for Michael and Jennifer. It's just so awful. Luckily we know they can see him again, but that doesn't make the hurt stop. Think how special he was that his presence on earth was so short. They were so lucky to have him, even for 3 weeks. I'll be praying that they're hearts will be open and they will get even the slightest glance of what they can have when you speak. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. It is so awful it hurts...
How did the funeral go, Crystal? I was thinking about you guys a lot yesterday. It kind of reminds me of a funeral I attended about 6 years ago. It was for an 18 month old boy, a foster child on my caseload. His foster parents were planning to adopt him, they were LDS. I was even planning on attending the sealing ceremony when everything was final. He tragically drowned at a family reunion they were attending. His biological mother was not LDS and I just remember being struck by the dichotomy of emotion at the funeral. It was terribly sad, but the funeral, put on by the foster family, gave me hope. The biological mother, on the other hand, was completely beside herself. She was drunk, which is how she was dealing with her sadness, and was a complete mess. She was completely without hope. As I was hugging her I just wanted to tell her that she could be with him again, she could see him again. But, as a government employee I couldn't really do that. All I can hope is that she got an inkling of that possibility from the funeral service. That funeral was such a testimony building experience for me. I really think that is the first time that I truly knew that the concept of forever families is true. That is a tough concept to explain to a non-believer, but you are so good with words, and you were so prayerfully contemplating the task, I'm sure you did a great job.
It was really hard, but I think most of us in attendance realized that Gavin was such a special soul and now our duty is to make the decisions in our life that will allow us to be with him again. Kind of a lot of pressure on me since I realize how that can be accomplished, but I have peace about it.
I left the March Ensign at my mom's yesterday morning and she called to thank me for it. Little by little, they will understand. I know their love for family will help them to understand the truth of the gospel. I know it.
I wrote about it on my blog as well.
Crystal,
I havn't visited the blog for several days and didn't see this until tonight. Sorry I couldn't leave any preliminary suggestions, but I'm sure you handled things very well.
I have always felt that funerals are the best meetings we have in the Church, because the Plan of Salvation can be discussed and sensed more intensely there than is possible in any other meeting. I remember speaking at my mother's funeral and feeling that I had to say the right things to impress my older sister who has been away from the Church for many years. My mom was 93. She lived a long, and a good life, and I know my sister was comforted by the thought that mom's passing was simply a graduation into the next phase of progression - part of the Plan.
It's a little harder to fathom though, when the deceased is a small baby who has had precious little time on this earth. Seems so sad, but the Plan still applies. Little Gavin obtained his vital physical body here, and then was allowed to pass to the Spirit World as a clean and perfect being, not being required to suffer the blood and sins and torment of this world. I have to believe that such infants must have special significance to the Lord. He must know their hearts well enough that they are not required to pass the test here. The natural sadness of an infant death makes the Plan's promises all the more meaningful to those mourning. I have a good friend who joined the Church because of an infant funeral he attended. He was so impressed with the truth he heard there.
You're doing a good thing, providing your family with a gateway to the truth. Keep it up - it will pay off eventually, and when it does, it will revolutionize their existence.
David
Thanks so much for your words. It seems almost incomprehensible that there is anyone on earth who did not know of Gavin's death. I, and my whole family and my brother's wife as well have been consumed with greif and questions. I am not sad for Gavin, but for his family who will miss him so.
It is so interesting. I check foxnews and kiddlive frequently and I was actually shocked that there was no mention of Gavin on either, I have truly been consumed with the sadness and heartbreak of his death and it seems amazing that anyone is not aching from his death. In the 4 towns I went to- 2 in Missouri and 2 in Kansas, everywhere we went, the people knew of his passing. When I realized that in the third town we visited, as we were ordering flowers, I just started crying when the florist said to her co-worker "these are going to Gavin too..." Wow. It was like that everywhere- Wal-Mart, the library, the convenience store... I guess that is a small town for you. In a way it was very comforting, but at the same time, it made concealing the sadness very difficult.
Anyway, thank you again for the kind words.
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