TEN BAD PUNS

Just to liven up this blog a little:

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two
dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says,
"I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per
passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in Mississippi. One went
to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other
stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted
to much. The second one, naturally, became known as
the lesser of two weevils.

4. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old
West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm
looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused
Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend
dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts
boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named
"Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name
him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
Amal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments,
so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh,
and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. We all know who Gandhi was, right? He was a
spiritual man who fasted regularly. Some may not
realize that fasting, when practiced regularly and for
extended periods, leads not only to weight loss, but
can also cause bad breath. No matter, his interests
were higher. This great leader hardly ever wore shoes.
One might say he was ... a super-calloused fragile
mystic plagued with halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who posted ten
different puns on his blog, in the hopes that at least
one of the puns would make the readers laugh. Unfortunately,
no pun in ten did.