A Little History:
Our story begins in Pocatello, Idaho, circa 1972, when the lovely Debby Christensen agreed to a first, though fateful date with admirer, David Croshaw. Long story-short, he bade her follow him, and they went arm-in-arm to the Logan, Utah temple for establishment of an eternal family unit, Generation 1, on May 23 1973.

From their first blissful summer in Salt Lake City, educational pursuits took them to Provo/Orem, Utah, birthplace of Leslie and Rebecca, and to San Francisco/Oakland California, birthplace of Colin and Matt. Then, for establishment of livelihood, expansion of the tribe with Abby and Dana, and for raising/unifying of Generation 2, it was back to the roots in Pocatello for a rewarding sojourn.

In time, driven by a raging, but commonly shared sense of adventure and independence, one-by-one, Generation 2 escaped the homeland to distant regions of the country and the world, each ultimately developing their own tribal expansions by pairing with worthy mates and initiating Generation 3.

Now sensing fulfillment of their purpose in Pocatello, Generation 1 has also left those roots and transplanted to Cascade Idaho, from which base, they anticipate more abundant contact with The Posterity, Generations 2 and 3, in the future. That contact however, awaits fulfillment of a call to LDS missionary service in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, wherein they hope to help the state of the world by sharing the love of Jesus Christ.

So now, including Generation 0 (Grandma and Grandpa Christensen) home base includes Yuma, Arizona, Pocatello, Idaho, Cascade, Idaho, Vancouver, BC, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Spokane, Washington, Boise, Idaho, Los Angeles, California, back to Boise, Idaho, and on and on (Generation 3+) to infinity.

Our Mission Statement:
This is the blog of our eternal family unit. Initiated years ago, it served well as a journal, but even more so, as an archive of our personal interaction. It was a gathering place, a confabulation instrument, a unifying force for four generations of widely dispersed and progressively prolific posterity, and their valued associates. Though it served these purposes well for many years, it eventually took a back seat to new-kids-on-the-block, Facebook, and Instagram, and was sadly forgotten.

We now move to resurrect this blog with an added functional purpose of archiving the missionary experiences of Generation 1, of their movements and activities as they participate with The Gathering of Israel in the land northward. In so doing, we hope that via their own comments and posts, this blog will again serve to gather and unify the posterity and their friends.

As in the past, that the young and vibrant may know the old and tired, that enduring bonds may be fostered and maintained, that experience and encouragement may be openly shared, that posterity may embrace truth, and that hearts may be knit together, we must resist detachment despite our geographic divergence. We shall do so here.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I Am Alice

This is long, but it's fun. Remember the days when you could lie down anywhere and drop into deep slumber in a flash? Maybe you're still there, but it is a dim memory for me. Going to bed lately has become a major project, every night. The older I get, the more vital sleep seems, but the more evasive it becomes, and the more creative I have to get to catch and retain it. As if the old routine of turning off the house lights and securing the doors, getting undressed, brushing the teeth, washing the face, and saying the prayers weren't enough, my aging, scarred body has gradually demanded more and more preparatory measures. Machines and devices have aided the capture and maintenance efforts, but have prolonged the nightly preparation.

For some time now, I have been using therapeutic stockings for varicose veins. Taking them off nightly is a chore. Also, you know those old guys with ear and nose hairs that look like they might take over? Well, about age 55, they start showing up. So, I have added plucking to my nightly routine. Also, speaking of ears, I seem to have inherited Arvilla's tendency to loose hearing with age. I procured some hearing aids some time back, and although I've had a hard time making them a habit, when I do use them, they reauire cleaning and charging at bedtime.

Then there's the bladder which has become ever more sensitive, a fact exacerbated by my burgeoning prostate gland which guards the door and enforces a stingy emigration quota, preventing complete evacuation. So it's not long before bladderville is overpopulated again. So I've learned that going potty just one last time will allow me to sleep maybe 3 instead of 2 1/2 hours before the attenuation wakes me again.

Then, as most of you know, I have been using a C-PAP machine for some time to maintain sleep. It allows only nasal breathing, necessitating a whole nother list of minutia to assure open nasal passages all night: cleaning and filling the humidity chamber, netty pot saline flushing of the nasal passages (Mom got me started on that one and she's got her own routine you'll have to ask her about,) using various sprays to prevent congestion, applying Breath-Rite nasal strips to optimize air flow, and fighting with the C-PAP tubing in the dark so it stays untangled all night.

I have also discovered that if I modify the mattress just so, my back won't hurt in the morning. so, before hopping into the sack, I have a series of 6 different pillows that I arrange in just the right fashion to keep me stable all night. I know you all think i'm crazy, but you just wait. You'll get yours some day. Anyway, all I care i that it works. Then, after getting into bed and donning the C-PAP, applying various eye drops helps minimize drying eyes through the night.

Finally, I get laid down, usually to realize at least once, that I forgot something, so I have to get up and take care of it before I at last get to sleep. That's the routine I have been pursuing for the past several years, and it's worked well generally. Of course, these many steps have been added gradually, and they've worked so well that I hadn't really considered their abundance, until lately when substantially more minutia has by necessity, been added to the routine all at once.

Subsequent to the hand injury, I now have a long list of therapy exercises to do each night. Then there's the night splint to be applied, followed by the foam protector to keep the hand elevated. I've also just added a bone-growth stimulator which velcros around the fingers and produces a magnetic field to help the bone heal faster. It has to be worn for 10 of every 24 hours, so it's usually worn through the night.

That's not all. Some of you may have noticed a new whitish cast in my left eye. It's the remnants of a cataract that developed from a childhood injury and then showed up again after I was hit in the eye by a chord while remodeling Grandma's house last winter. It's no big deal because the vision in the eye was already bad, but the appearance has become a distraction for people I talk to, e.g. my patients. So, I went to an ophthalmologist to see if it could be removed, but he suggested the simpler option of a cosmetic contact lens. They take a photo of your normal eye and use it to fashion a look-alike full-eye lens that you then put over the repulsive one. Sounds good to me, so I'm ordering it this week, and when I get it, then I will have to add "taking out my glass eye" to my nightly routine.

It was this last item that finally exposed my pitiful lot as it perked a childhood memory of scout camp where we would sing songs around the campfire at night. The particular song I remembered deals with a pathetic soul named Alice. The lyrics listed below (as I remember them) go with the tune on the you-tube video of a bunch of Scotsmen singing their own version of the same song about some wretched wench named Sadie.

As you watch/read, imagine a bunch of boy scouts singing this around the campfire, right after they sang another song about boogers or farts, or whatever. This is about as good as the entertainment gets lately, so enjoy! And, by the way, never get old!!

After the ball was over,
Alice took out her glass eye,
Put her false teeth in some water,
Hung up her wig to dry,
Put her peg leg in the corner,
Hung her tin ear on the wall.
There wasn't much left of poor A-aaa-lice
After the ball!


Jason and Dana said...

You'd think after all you have to do to get ready for bed you wouldn't be able to do anything but fall asleep for 10 hours! That's great about the contact lens though, much easier than eye surgery!

beckyV said...

The scouts sang that?? It reminds me of the soothing lullaby "for I did murder that dear little girl..." This actually makes me sad, dad. It is hard to think about your parents getting older and suffering, because not being able to sleep is the very worst form of suffering!! It makes me very grateful for my ability to lock all the doors, check on the kids, lay down and be asleep in 2 minutes! I also really like the idea of a cosmetic contact lens. Does this mean that your pupil will look like it is in the right place? That might take some getting used to :)

Colin said...

You are one pathetic loser!
Just when I got down which eye to look at you go and change it on me. You may want to consider going to bed before midnight too.

That's my problem, I cannot go to bed before 11:00 even if I have to get up really early. It was a killer on Trauma because I had to leave by 5:20 to get there by 6:00. I'm not designed to function well early in the morning. I am definitely wired, or maybe conditioned, to function well in the late night hours.

Why don't you restructure your routine a little bit. You could fill the CPAP humidification chamber and arrange your pillows in the morning. You should also go see Whiting to take care of those varicose veins. It may not completely solve the problem but it would probably help.
As for the prostate, it's either medications or TURP surgery.
You probably could give up some of your hobbies to free up some time, but I don't see that happening.


Crystal said...

The lyrics made me laugh, the sleep routine does not. I think of nothing but sleep when I am not talking I think. A year in with less than 4 hours per night is not the best and I absolutely feel your pain. I, like Colin, function better at night than early morning, but I have actually been PRAYING that this would change because then maybe sleeping as soon as Asher falls asleep might happen. As it is, it is the first time all day that I am not surrounded by noise and chaos and I just can not sleep. Sigh.

Love those lyrics though... love them, but speaking of "you'll get yours one day, I wonder how many of your comrade boy scout compatriates think about how not-funny the song is now ;-)

David and Debby said...

If you like those lyrics, I'll have to try to remember the songs about boogers and farts.

Actually Becky, don't feel too bad for me. I was only lamenting the lengthy routine, but I do sleep well once I lay down - mostly because of the routine. But Colin was right - the key is going to bed earlier, or in my case, starting the routine earlier. But, I hear you about quiet time, and being wired at night. That's me too. Check the time of this comment. But, you're right - it is conditioning - must change that. I always feel better and do more during the days after a good night's sleep.

Colin, I'm taking a Parminex supplement with green tea that is supposed to shrink the prostate. A urologist told me it was good, and it seems to be helping. Fortunately, my PSA has stayed normal. Also, I have visited Whiting, and he is doing a mapping of my veins this week, and then zapping them next month. This is my year for medical stuff.

David and Debby said...

what makes this even more difficult is that he doesn't start getting ready until about 1:30. mom

Colin said...

You should get a Franklin planner just for your going to bed routine. Or pick up a copy of 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Bed-goer.